Friday, October 21, 2011
Closing the door
Today, I made a phone call. I didn't even ask to talk to her, because I knew it would be a wasted effort. I have been playing a vicious game of phone tag with her all week. This time, I simply asked to be sent directly to her voicemail.
Today, I requested that Sandy send my letters to my birth daughter and her family back to me. I left my address on the voice mail just in case she has lost or forgotten that, too.
I am closing that door.
It is not worth it. Not worth believing she really will do something about it. Not worth trying to get her attention. Not worth feeling like I am harassing an agency that once promised to do anything and everything for me. It is so not worth it.
I am closing the door. I am letting go of that struggle. Now, I am hoping with that door slammed shut, there will be some wide, clear-paned windows opening soon, because it is getting awful dark around here.