Wednesday, November 18, 2009

Almost a grandma

This is my mother, sixteen years ago, holding what would have been her first grandchild. Enjoying this precious baby girl as much as she possibly could before it was time to let her go. Being a parent is tough. I am so not looking forward to my girls' teenage years. (I almost deleted that. Part of me is excited for it, and part of me really dreads it). Pray that my darling girls never put me through anything like what I did to my poor parents.

Here is a copy of the letter my mom wrote to the adoptive parents:

June 13, 1993

Dear Parents,

As the birth grandmother of your beautiful new daughter I would like to express my support for the process that is taking place. This has truly been one of the most difficult experiences our family has ever faced, but without a doubt, we have felt the hand of the Lord throughout the ordeal.

I would like you to know that our daughter was raised in a Christ-centered home. We hold regular Family Home Evenings, Family Council (every Fast Sunday), family prayer and scripture study, and we attend our church meetings as a family. We also do fun things together. One month ago, we all went to Southern California together and had a wonderful time! The joke is that your little daughter is only a few days old, and already she has been to Disneyland, Universal Studios, Sea World, the beach, and the Grand Canyon!

I guess the reason I'm telling you a little about us is so that you won't think that we are a dysfunctional family from which our daughter sought escape in an immoral lifestyle. The fact is that we have been loving and supportive of our child throughout this experience, even though it hurt us deeply to find her in these circumstances. We want you to know that your child's pre-natal experiences have been filled with love and stability.

Our daughter participated in some inappropriate behavior for which she (and we) are certainly paying some very heavy consequences, but we have all learned some important lessons from all of this.

Before I get into that, however, I want to tell you a little about our daughter so that you may understand your daughter's heritage a little better. Our daughter is a lovely, fair-haired petite child who never weighed over 100 lbs until the past few months. She is intelligent and articulate and enjoys a good argument. I wouldn't be surprised to see her become a lawyer someday! She is a published author, and her writings have won awards in regional competitions. She was also a Sterling Scholar runner-up in English during her senior year in High school. She is a beautiful, smart, talented young lady who is learning to love and respect herself better.

We were truly devastated as a family when we learned of our daughter's condition, because it was so opposed to everything we had taught her. We recognize now that it was not an affront to our teaching but merely her exercise of free agency. We also recognize that Heavenly Father loved her enough to allow her to experience the consequences of that choice. Parents, please know what I know--that even though in the strictest terms, this beautiful baby was not conceived in love, in a very real way she was conceived out of Heavenly Father's love for you! {and for me, you know ;) } I firmly believe that He knew you needed this little girl, and He chose our daughter as a means of bringing her to you. As difficult as it has been to endure this ordeal with our daughter, it has also brought us closer to the Lord and to her. We pray sincerely that your eternal life together with your loving family will be blessed by the knowledge that our prayers will always be with you for success and joy in the eternities. May we meet there and embrace one day.

With Love,
"Birth Grandma"

P.S. Excuse the workmanship on the little dress. I was rushed--and buttonholes are not my forte! It was made with love, anyway!

Sorry, Mom. Love you.

1 comment:

Kim said...

That letter is beautiful. As an adoptive Mom I should say that a letter like that would be completely priceless to receive.