Wednesday, November 16, 2011

I get by with a little help from my friends

Yep, that's me, second from the right.  Eight months pregnant, at Disneyland with my family

Recently, I posted about how isolated I felt when I realized I was pregnant.  I felt the need to run away from my judgmental hometown.  I thought I needed to keep it a secret, especially since I was pursuing an adoption plan.  I even tried to hide it from my psycho roommates, even though they had their suspicions, especially the girl who tried to spy on me in the shower (no, I am not kidding), and even opened my mail (a medical bill), and then resealed it with the address backwards in the window.

That roommate was the exception in my experience as an expectant young mother.

So many wonderful people rallied around me when they heard about my situation.  Even people who didn't know my plan reached out to me and watched out for me.  If I start naming people, I will definitely miss someone.  You know what, I am going to name some of them anyway.

Obviously, my family took care of me.  The first person I told was my big brother Worthy.  He had just asked his girlfriend Kim Hurst to marry him.  He was riding high after she said yes, and then I had to spoil it by telling him about my stupidity.  He was so good about the whole situation, and he encouraged me to tell Kim right away.  I loved Kim dearly, but it was really hard for me to tell her.  I think I almost wanted Worthy to do it for me, but I am grateful that he made me do it myself.  Kim was my angel.  I have told you that before, because it really is true.  She and her roommates took care of me in so many ways.

Angie Wager did not know I was expecting, but she helped me and loved me in the moments we saw each other.  The same was true of Tara Phelps and Jen Tate.  True friends.

Various bishops took me under their wing.  The first in my hometown, then in my college ward, in Kim's ward, which I preferred, especially because of her loving bishopric, and finally the bishop in the family ward I ended up living in, when I moved into Kim and Worthy's apartment--the apartment that they would share after they got married.  The family ward Relief Society president and her family were also especially compassionate to me.

Dan and Kathy Thielen gave me babysitting jobs when I was having such a difficult time job hunting.  They even set me up on a date with a friend of theirs when I was seven and a half months pregnant.  It was also really difficult for me to tell them about my pregnancy.  I spent so much time with those dear friends and their kids, I sort of assumed they would figure it out, but I hardly showed at all, and I always wore baggy clothes.  Needless to say, that date was a pretty awkward experience.  Jared Brown could tell you.  He was my date, and he figured it out on his own.

Good people from San Juan County wrote letters of support to me.  People who didn't know my story but wanted to let me know I was loved.  Maybe they did know my story.  I thought I hid it pretty well, but the rumor started to spread on its own, anyway.  My future mother-in-law was one of those who wrote, sending her love and support.

My doctor was such a good man.  He was very kind and patient with me.  The nurses in labor and delivery and other workers in the hospital were very compassionate and respectful.  I had an ultrasound tech that treated me pretty terribly--I think she thought I was an awful person because I was pursuing an adoption plan.  That was the first time I really experienced any negativity relating to my choice.  She didn't try to determine the gender of the baby--maybe she thought I didn't care--and I was too naive to know to ask her about it.

Other dear friends in Logan included Shannon and Rodney Hickman, Daryl and Shanna Guymon, as well as several good neighbors and ward members.  There were also some sweet girls I made friends with through the birthmother group meetings at LDS Social Services.  The family that Kim babysat for full-time, and the family for whom I babysat briefly were also very good to me.

I was surrounded in the arms of love.  The good people all around me were such an amazing comfort to me.  I know prayers were offered often in my behalf.  I felt them.  I knew of my Heavenly Father's love for me because of the service rendered to me over and over again by His children.


Nan said...

I thought I should warn you, the picture quality on this photo is terrible. Clicking on the picture to view it bigger will not help at all.

Oh, and I noticed a lot of people have been looking at one particular photo on my "Mistakes" post. I just thought I would let you guys know I DO NOT having a picture of the birth father, whoever he is. I have very few pictures from this particular chapter in my life. And absolutely no pictures of the guys I hung out with.

Just so you know.

Angie said...

I love you Nan! You are amazing and I look up to you, even though technically you are shorter than me.

You have such a giving spirit and my life is better for having known you.